Thoughts at 2 am

I’m a collector I collect thoughts that live in books 

Documented on paper 

Prisoners looking for a way out 

Through the mind of a reader 

     Not any reader 

The reader that reads at every chance he gets 
The reader that thinks of books when he’s away from them 
The reader that can’t spend a week 

Without a book 
The reader who’s so hocked on books

That they replace drugs 
The reader who finds therapy in books

In words and worlds 

That only exists in his mind

The reader who writes.
They escaped. 
      I’m a collector 

I collect humans 

Some call them friends, but they mean

      More then that 

They can’t be just friends.
Friends come and go 

Mine stay. 

Through the worst of me

They stayed. 
     I keep them around 

Surround them with a bubble 

Of happiness and goodness 
 But reality comes in the way 

   Crush their dreams 

      Killed their spirit 

They’re never the same again. 
        I’m a collector 

     I collect memories 

Of days i wish not to forget 

Of thoughts that found me 

Of feelings i hold dear to me 

Of people that left me with such energy 

It’s impossible to forget them. 

          I’m a collector. 

A letter to a dear friend

There’s a girl, who have been through hell and back. She saw her dreams crashed, something along the line ” you are not good enough for us ” 

That came as a surprise for all of us, since she always have been, since the day i have met her, more then enough. 

It broke her down, her sails drowning, in the sea of doubt and fear. No man came out of it sane. Alive, yeah most do, but very rarely, they came back as the way they sailed in. But she was no man, she was a Woman, and a brilliant woman of her age. She was one who wouldn’t go down without a fight, the little girl in her holding to her dreams, the little bear clutched in her hands, as her mother read her bedtime stories of great surgeons who managed to save life’s, life’s of people who illness get the best of them. In that sea, she could see who she was, raw, and human. 

The bravest one can be, Human. 

She fought her way back to the surface 
She was one who knew the depth and wasn’t scared of it. 
She was good enough, she was who she is. 

And that’s more then enough for her and everyone who matters. 
As time passes by, she read her daughter stories, about a great Warrior

About a girl who have been through a war 

But this war is different then any war known to the human kind 

This war was about a girl clutching her bear and holding on to her dreams. 

This was was about a women, who refused her reality, and created another one from ash, her ash. 
From broken promises and a self esteem so low it will make the depth of an ocean seem like nothing compared to that.
And in that girl, the one who fought so gracefully, i find you.  

بعضاً من يومياتي

اليوم يوم جميلٌذهبنا مشياً بأقدام متثاقلة إلى بيت عمي والشمس تحرق ظهورنا. 

أكلنا بعضاً من النودلز اللذيذة ورشفات من البيبسي 

لكي نبرد على قلوبنا. 

ثم اتخذنا طريقاً إلى الحديقة لم تلمسه أقدامنا من قبل 

رئيت بعضاً من الشجر المتسلق على البيوت والذي أثار الدهشة في نفسي. 

هنالك فتاة في الثامنة والعشرين من عمرها واللتي تبيع الذرة ، تعرفنا منذ صيف سنة ٢٠١٦. 

نفين، هو اسمها. 

قضينا الكثير من الوقت برفقتها ، انها إنسانة لطيفة جداً نيفين تلك. 

التقطنا بعضاً من صور البالوريد ، لكي نخزن ذكرى. 

عند الدراجات الهوائية ، بالكرسي الخشبي جلست مع دفتري وحيدتاً. 

جلست أرسم الأشياء التي امامي ، أخزن ذكرى ، ولكن ليست بالطريقة المعتادة. 

رجل لابس خوذة ، شجرة ، فتاة حامل بصغير اتمنى له الأفضل في الحياة. 

بعدما أشبعت رغباتي الفنية ، ذهبت إلى أصدقائي.

في هذا اليوم ، قضينا الكثير من الوقت برفقة نيفين و الكرة والاوراق الملونة. 

– نوال ، الخامس والعشرون من يوليو ٢٠١٧ 
P.S: في اخر اليوم، أصدقائنا عند الدراجات الهوائية لعبو اب كرتنا واستمتعو ، ثم تعرفوا على أسمائنا وتعرفنا على اسمائهم..

علي ، الرجل الكبير في العمر المسؤول العام عن الاوضاع

طارق ، الشاب الأنطوائي الخجول الجميل المضحك اللذي لايستطيع ان يلعب بالرول 

اسماعيل ، الشاب السوري اللذي لاينفك ( بدون قصد ) عن ازعاجنا في المحادثات اللتي لانريد الخوض بها. 

Chaos

I thought I could handle itI thought i was strong enough 

Strong enough to see it all

Without cracking 

Without lips being bitten 

Without tears falling from their caves

Without hands trembling 

Without a chaos in my mind
But I thought wrong.

deep breaths were taken 

But apparently, not deep enough to

Kill the monsters inside 

Deep breaths were taken 

Anxiety were rising 

Heart been racing 

Alarms been triggered 

Monsters been awakened 

Deep breaths were taken 

Monsters took over

Guardians been protecting 

The spirit of a girl who knew it all 

Knew all the struggles 

A little girl shouldn’t have 

The spirit of a girl 

Who been through more then enough 

More then most girls and boys

The guardians have been there for her 

As old as she can remember 

As old as time

The guardians can be seen 

As the flicker of light in a stormy day

As the lyrics of a song that hit home 

As a glimpse of hope in the mind of the hopeless 

The guardians can be felt 

As the determination of failed attempts 

As the cold breeze in a summer day 

The guardians are always there

When no one is.

But monsters are taking over 

And the guardians can’t fix this 

Because they can only protect the 

Spirit of the girl from outsiders 

From the world and every creature in it

But the guardians can’t protect the 

Spirit of the girl from herself.

All they can do 

Is see her taking her life away 

And failing to guard her 

From her self 

For they didn’t understand 

How a self can destroy its own self

They found this alien 

For they only know love and kindness 

They didn’t expect such evil from 

The humankind 

For they only see the humanity 

Not the humans. 

And with that, 

Monsters killed 

The spirit of a girl 

And the guardians screams could

Be heard from miles away. 

مقالة أولى على المدونة

انا نوعاً ما متحيرة ، بنشر كتاباتي العشوائية اللتي لم يقرئها سوى حنفة صغيرة من أصدقائي المقربون ، ولكنني الأن أعرضها امام العالم بأسرة ، ياترى ماذا اريد من هذا؟ 

اكتب بالفصحى بعض الأحيان وأحيان أخرى اكتب باللغة الأنجليزية ، فقط مايطرى على البال حقاً. 

لا تعيرون لي بالاً، فانا حقا لا اعلم ماذا اريد وماذا اريد ان اقدم للعالم ، فبعض الكلمات لن تؤثر سلبياً على العالم ؟ 

اتمنى ذلك. 

شكراً لعينكم اللتي تسمح لكم لقراءة كلماتي ، و لعقلكم اللذي ترجمها لكم ، ولقلبكم اللذي حس ببعض المشاعر اللتي تعتبر فضائية لبعض العقلاء. 

🙂